No is a complete sentence

Ever feel stuck for words when asked to do something you have no interest in doing? That’s when the tummy squirms begin, while the mind searches for just the right way to decline. The replies from mind just seem inappropriate, socially impolite, dismissive, rude, selfish…you get the point. It really happens, and it happens with all of us, until it doesn’t.

We may find it difficult to say no, due to other reasons also: guilt, fear of rejection, disapproval or judgement. Whatever the seeming reason for our hesitation in saying no, really doesn’t matter. What does matter–To thine own self be true.

Is it selfish? You bet it is. Because it is based on self love. And selfishness based on self love is a healthy thing, being the opposite of the selfishness that lacks compassion. We can self-love and be compassioned for others at the same time.

The thing is, in denying ourselves an answer of no, when that is what we genuinely feel, we lack compassion for ourselves. Everyone matters, including you, and it is okay to make yourself your priority. In fact, it’s necessary. Our total well being depends on it.

When we value ourselves enough to say no, if that is what we honestly feel, then all involved benefit, a win-win because, we become a mirror of what honouring oneself looks like. Long explanations, justifications or defending our ‘No’ is unneeded. Try it. Say “No” or “No thanks” when it feels true–and STOP there. Uncomfortable feelings will pass. They always do.